MB4JL – Big Old ‘Tard

This car is just so dated, it’s like it exemplifies the ’80s Wall Street greed era. OK, so it debuted in 1991, but it still looks very Gordon Gecko / Bonfire of the Vanities to me. It said, “I’m big, and I’m money.” Except it now says, “I’m driving a car that’s older than the girls I’d like to date.”

OK, JL, go and find yourself some barely-legal action. That’s probably all you’re fooling in this big old boat.

Props for the Beverly Hills license plate frame, though. I’ll bet you had some scary minutes heisting that off someone’s newer ride. 


It's boxy, but it's safe

It's boxy, but it's safe

FIT4ADJ – Work with me here, ADJ

OK – let’s look at some of the options here.

You’ve got MYFIT – works a couple of ways.

You’ve got IMFIT – even hits that “IM” note.

There’s FIT4LIFE – tons of wellness crap online in that vein. Or, better yet, FIT4LYF – one of my fave alt spellings.

You could try INFIT, since you’re, you know, in the  . . . 

But, you were just begging for a spot on the Bozo site, weren’t you? You went with the classic and lame, FIT4ADJ.

Be creative people!




TT X35 – No Clue What I is Thinking

Where did Infiniti come up with the their amazing naming system? If you see my previous post, I do think there is a beauty and simplicity to Mazda’s naming, and more European car makers do at least use some progression to their numbers – as the number increases, so does the size or the horsepower. So, Infiniti, where does the “X” come from? And the “35”? And, while you’re at it, what ingenious marketing agency came up with that amazing name, Infiniti?

OK – enough about them, now about you, TT. Maybe you should be driving an Audi TT? Oh, right, you basically are in your sporty SUV that handles. Roger that. But if you do ever switch over, bring your plates. We’ll just start calling you X35.


MAINES3 – Just a Digit Now

OK, so to make this one work, you’ve got to accept the fact that the driver’s name is Maine. I think that works. Given names these days, I’ll bet he’s got a friend named Saskatchewan.

But there’s actually something I like here. I know – you can’t believe it. The crabby Bozo likes a plate after all. Here goes: I like that the entire car name is just “3” – can’t beat that. And it’s not even a lame single dig.

I’ve been at this too long – I’m getting worn down.


Power to the Northeast!

Power to the Northeast!

TATAS Q7 – Blah, Blah, Blah

I apologize, dear readers: another uninspired plate.

Does it seem like those with the most money have the least taste? Did this odd truck look good before the plate? And does the plate help at all?

Does the name Tata conjure up images of some old jowly grandma, schlepping her grandkids to playdates?

Does AUDIDOWNTOWNLA cringe each time she pulls this beast into the dealership?

And, Audi, Q7? Really? Did someone from Infiniti help you with that name?


Of course, Tatas could mean . . .

Of course, Tatas could mean . . .

HKS C500 – Umm. Hello?

HK – psst! Over here! Behind your rig! Hanging out by the shiny silver characters on your Benz that say, to me at least, R 500. So here’s the problem, see. Your plate says C 500. HK – or should I call you Heather? – what’s up? Are these little letters too confusing? I agree – what’s the R for when it should be a C for ‘chariot’ right? I’m with you on this one. So how about maybe getting a silvery C for up there on the left, too?

Or did you think you’d fool us into thinking this minivan is a coupe? Was that it? It’s so sleek and all and we’re so dazzled by that peace-sign-you-call-a-benz-symbol that we’d overlook the two sliding doors and seating for 26?


Minivan = R, right?

Minivan = R, right?

ROZS350 – Ya Know – Shorthand

Think maybe Roz was a steno clerk back in the day? Nah. More like a Martha Stewart, if you ask me.

I’m seeing Roz as, let’s just say, matronly. Yes, it’s only a 350 (which I guess means it’s an E) but that’s plenty to haul Roz around from the scrapbooking store to the rotary club to the tennis luncheon. From there, she’ll visit the florist for some arrangements and a glass of chardonnay, and then she’ll get home in time for her guided meditation with Hans. She has to be sure to leave home before the nanny arrives with the kids – oh, the noise and disruption!

We all know what’s important in life: a Benz from a dealer in Santa Monica.